Joseph

Today I watched The Nativity Story.  It is a beautiful story of Christ's birth but also the events and perhaps the feelings that took place before.  Now before I tell you my feelings and thoughts that were inspired by this movie I want to share with you a few events and feelings that took place before I watched it.
In August I was set apart as the second councilor in Relief Society in our ward.  I have been so grateful for this calling because of all the interaction I get with the sisters in the ward and also to lessons I get taught every week. I'm a very selfish person, I would much rather be in Relief Society then in Primary just for the simple fact that I get to sit back and be up lifted by the spirit.  Well those of you who might no know, we received a special book this year from the general Relief Society Presidency.  You sister who don't have one yet just wait you'll probably get it as a present from your R.S. presidency.  I hate to say it but I really don't think I would have read it if I weren't in the presidency surrounded but the dear sisters who encourage me to be better then I really am.  I'm not finished with it but I'm about half way there.  If you haven't opened it, you should.  Just read the first page and tell me if you can that you weren't touched.  It is truly one of the most amazing gifts I have ever received and I know that the Lord not only inspired it but endorses it's words fully.
Well, while reading it (even just that first page) I have become so aware of Heavenly Fathers and my Saviors LOVE for me.  I have felt of his NEED for me in his kingdom.  I feel so blessed to be a women in His work.  This is probably the first I have felt this way.  I usually feel less then men, less then the priesthood, not quite equal to the work that men are called to do.  As much as I learned of self worth growing up from young womens I never understood it like know and I don't think I will ever truly comprehend the Lords love for me. Well today we spoke in R.S. class about the book, "Daughters in My Kingdom", and I once again felt that love for women testify again to me.  I felt cherished as a daughter of God.

Then I came home with my Scotty boy while Mark stayed at church for meetings.  When he came home we put that movie on.  Having felt so empowered lately by all these women in church history one would predict that I would continue that feeling while watching Mary or Elizabeth.  I did see them and was touched by their strength but more so I saw Joseph and was amazed by his faith and desire to be a good man.  To work so hard in preparation for a life and then to see it fall apart because your future just came back from a visit being pregnant...  To have every reason in the world to be angry and seek justice but instead give compassion and forgiveness.  And then, and only then does he receive a vision.  It is no wonder why the Lord would choose such a man to be his earthly father.  It wasn't hard to picture Mark being so loving and kind and faithful.  Everyday I am blown away by how wonderful Mark has made my life.  He tries so hard to give me all that I desire and sadly feels like a failure if there is something that I can't get.  He doesn't have to work very hard at being a good father to Scott, he just is.  Everyday he becomes a better man.  I wish I could grow and improve the way Mark does.  The more I learn and grow as a women the more I love and respect Mark and all the he does for us.  I'm so grateful for my family and my Lord for giving them to me.
Merry Christmas